Ask any married couple about marriage and they’ll likely tell you that it’s hard work. In normal times, marriage is something you work at every day, but the COVID-19 pandemic has greatly increased tensions. Not only is stress up, but the amount of sex that married couples are having is also down as well.
While the pandemic eventually will wane, if you want your marriage you last, there are things you can do to improve your relationship. Read on for a list of questions to ask your spouse to improve your marriage.
Some Tips for Asking Questions
Before you start interrogating your spouse, consider these suggestions.
- Ask one question at a time
- Ask open-ended questions rather than yes or no questions
- Don’t interrupt while your spouse is talking
- Listen to understand
- Ask follow-up questions
- If you need time to think about their response to formulate your own thoughts, tell them
Remember that the goal of asking these questions is to improve your marriage, so don’t get defensive if they say something you don’t like or don’t agree with.
Questions to Ask Your Spouse to Improve Your Marriage
The goal of asking these questions is to save a troubled marriage. Keep that in mind and prepare yourself for some hard answers as you ask these questions:
1. Is There Anything I Used to Do That You Wish I Still Did?
Maybe there’s something you did for your spouse when you were first dating or early in your marriage that has fallen by the wayside. Work, children, and other responsibilities often mean that our relationships get put on the back burner and things like leaving notes for your spouse before work, buying flowers or their favorite food, or planning surprise date nights that you did often early in your relationship are replaced with soccer games, working late, and falling asleep on the couch at 8 p.m.
Maybe your spouse wants you to have a more spontaneous sex life or spice things up a bit. Try it out and reap the rewards!
2. Is There Anything I Do That Hurts You?
This may be a tough question to ask and hear the response to, but if there are little things that you that hurt your spouse, whether intentional or not, you need to hear them.
Maybe you ignore requests to do things around the house, make little comments about their appearance, or do things in front of friends and family that make them feel insecure. Whatever it is, don’t try to defend yourself or deny your spouse’s feelings. Be honest with yourself and them, and then make a conscious effort to change the behavior.
3. What Makes Us a Good Team? What Could I Do Better to Make Us a Stronger Team?
One of the great things about being married is that you get a partner for life. You and your spouse make a team that can take on everything from parenting to professional decisions to adverse life events. If you are suffering as a team, it’s not too late to get back to being a strong partnership.
Ask your spouse what you are doing well and what they think you can do better together to make a stronger team.
Use This Relationship Advice to Improve Things Today
If you want to improve things in your relationship, it’s time to take stock of your partnership. Use our 3 questions to ask your spouse to improve your marriage and start making changes immediately.
If you found these tips useful, be sure to check out some of our other marriage and relationship advice articles.